Saturday, March 17, 2007

Progress Report

The Tunnel at the end of the light.

The only thing wrong with telling the world how you're really feeling on your blog is that the world might actually read it! And then start calling and emailing and texting and telling other people to read your blog etc!

The last couple of days several people have been in touch one way or another expressing their concern.

Thank you.

I'm feeling slightly like a goldfish who put up an "Open House" sign on the side of my bowl!

Today was a bit better again.

I saw the Dr this morning who thinks I have depression.
I'm not so sure although I am sure that I felt worse over the last week than I ever have before.

It's a little chicken and eggish, "Am I depressed and that makes me feel bad about things in my life?" or "Do I feel bad about things in my life and that makes me depressed?"

I'm seeing him again next week, in the meantime he's given me a book to read on the subject. (Should I have told him that reading non-fiction depresses me?) (I must be feeling better, cracking little depression jokes!)

My supervisor has called
me a couple of times and strongly encouraged me to take some time off work. She checked and worked out that I have about 15 weeks of unused sick leave so I can afford to take a week off!

My pastor came to see me today because a certain descendent sent him a text asking him to check how I'm going. He had some really good insights and suggestions. Consequently I'll probably go away for a couple of days next week to do some thinking and praying.

A mate rang from Perth.
A brother-in-law rang from Adelaide.
A cyber buddy sent encouraging messages.
My chairperson sent me the words to a wonderful hymn I'd never heard but which really spoke to my situation.
It's all happening here folks!!

What's really interesting is how many people have commented that they know how I feel or that they've been through
something similar. I know depression is increasing but it is quite amazing to hear how many people have been affected by it.
As I said, I don't know if I have depression or not, sitting here now it doesn't seem like it to me, but in reading the literature I was putting lots of mental ticks against things described as signs and symptons.

Taking some time off will be helpful, if for no other reason than it will give me some time to think and sort through things and try to find solutions to some of the things that are consiste
nt stumbling blocks for me.

I need to get it sorted out before the footy season starts and following Geelong sends me into another tail-spin nose-dive!!!

I feel an odd mixture of feelings, gratitude for people's concern and embarrassment at all the attention.

A few more pics from Sculptures by the Sea.
I found out today that my mate Cameron's cousin made this "Sea Anenome" sculpture, along with 2 other similar ones that are part of the exhibition. Very cool!


Jacqui said...

Praise the Lord that you are beginning to sound a bit more like your old self, the days off can only be good for you.
Remember "there are no problems, only solutions", and I know with God's help, you will find them. Love you.

Merle said...

Hi Marcus ~~ Glad you are feeling a little better -- and I usually read your blog daily!! I enlarged the pic
of the tunnel (searching for the light) and found a small speck of
light, so all is not lost!! A few days break will do you good, and the world will not end. Love always,

Peter said...

At least you got some lurkers out into the open Marcus, so being open wasn't a total flop.
I'm at wudinna (on my own) at the moment so will post some details of the trip from here... Just might cheer you up, stay well, make sure the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a freight train heading for you.

Zaac said...

what decendant did such a good thing? they should be rewarded. might i suggest following pharoas example with joseph, or possibly xerxes with mordacai...

Marcus said...

In the spirit of Joseph, "Tell him he's dreaming"!