People who know me, and even people who don't, know that I am not a man with great practical skills or mechanical ability. I am basically a "Hammer Mechanic".I can check the oil, change it if necessary, have managed to flush a radiator a couple of times, and have not needed roadside assistance to change a flat tyre, but that just about sums up the list of my achievements when working with my hands. (Yes I can do other things, but working with my hands is not on my C.V.)
There's no gentic excuse, my Dad can weld and build sheep yards and fix broken axles and all manner of other blokey tasks.
I've got mates who can whip up a piece of furniture made out of scrap materials and timber scabbed from roadside pick-up piles.
Birchy wields a pair of electric drills the way Jesse James wielded six-shooters. He built the best shed and pergola I've ever seen, as well ast tables, floors, etc.
Letchy dug his own bore and built a firepit in his backyard.
Phil has turned an ordinary old house in Vic Park into a great 2 storey home with landscaped backyard and chook pen, and he's written two books.
My mate Paul has renovated houses in San Diego and Hawaii (and as you can see, is an expert fly fisherman)
But me! I have never built anything.
Until today that is!!
Yes, today is a proud day at Holt Press because with my own two hands I have completed a "construction job"! I replaced the lattice on the pergola roof with zincalume.
Not a big job I admit. Not a highly tecnical job it's true, but a construction job all the same, and I feel good about it! Yesterday I was feeling less than confident. Things were not going that smoothly. Screws were being mangled, nails were bending, lengths of timber were shrinking somewhere between when I measured them and when I cut them. I got a nasty splinter in the bendy part of my ring finger. Timber was not feeding through the power saw smoothly, etc .
But today was a day of triumph. I got the battens in place and they basically did what they were supposed to do, ie. create a downward slope so that the sheets of corrugated iron I was securing to them would fall away at sufficient angle for water to run off the roof in the right direction.
I managed to drill all the holes in the right places and then in a sweep of veritable roof carpentry panache, I attached it with tek screws that disappeared in a buzz of electrical wizardry beneath the power drill.
It was so easy!
It was so effective.
It was so fun!
I could learn to like using power tools! In the end I ran out of light and time so there is a little bit left to do, a few more screws to put in, the sections of existing roofing I had to loosen in order to get the drill in position have to be reattached, the mess has to be cleaned up, but 90% of the job is done, the roof is firm and secure, it looks good and a much larger section of the patio is now rain proof.
I feel good.
Certainly a lot better than I felt after watching Geelong lose it's opening game of the footy season to the Bulldogs!
But let's not dwell on unhappy things!
Today is a day of celebration, of manly achievement, of successfully wielding power tools, of making things with hands. Maybe some of that low testosterone level will have even have received a natural boost in the process!
We didn't get to go out on the night of our anniversary so tonight's the night. Carolyn is currently getting dressed, trying to decide between clothes for cooler weather. It's not cold but we have long since established that we have different thermostats, in fact I sometimes think Carolyn is poikiothermic. We're not sure where we're going yet, a gastronomic mystery tour awaits. Sophie is working so Jordan is supervising Sport Boy, who is watching the football and feeling glad that he wasn't able to change his tip in the Swans/Eagles game (due to technical problems on the website) because West Coast are "spanking" Sydney he tells me. The Dockers made the most of pre-season premiership favourtism by crashing at home to Port Adelaide this arvo! I slept in after the taxi shift then went and poked around a couple of garage sales. I found an Airzooka for $5, a true bargain, seriously, if you haven't played with an airzooka you haven't lived! One of the world's truly brilliant inventions. Daniel and Jana's wedding was made especially memorable by the addition of three airzookas at the reception! I also bought a racing bike for $15. In the modern era mountain bikes have become the standard currency for cycling but the big chunky tyres and heavy frames mean they are built for comfort not speed. The thin tyres and light weight of the racer mean I'll be able to get places quicker when I ride. It has new tyres and pedals too so the $15 price would hardly cover one of those items! The rest of the afternoon was spent wrestling with the patio roof!! I'm replacing the fibro lattice which does absolutely nothing to stop the rain, making sections of the pergola useless in the wet season. I've bought the zincalume corrugated iron sheets to replace it but before I can put it up I have to attach battens of varying thickness to the cross beams in order to create a slope so the water will run off when it rains. Hmm!@ Sounds straightforward doesn't it? Trust me, it's not. Or I should say, it's not for someone with the low level of technical skills and practicality with my hands that I possess! There have been attempts, re-attempts, and re-thinks so far! I made a breakthrough late in the afternoon and actually made some progress. With just a little bit of good favour I may get as far as attaching some tin tomorrow. Or not!
Good news, Carolyn is dressed and ready, I've been summoned, the celebration of 21 years awaits!