Thursday, March 05, 2009

Bad News

I received an unexpected phone call today.

It was bad news.

Terrible news.

A lady I know in Perth died suddenly on the weekend.

I was stunned, saddened, overwhelmed.

Her son rang to tell me.

A couple of years ago I performed his wedding ceremony.

A few years before that I conducted his Dad's funeral.

Now his Mum is gone too.

I cried.

I've dealt with lots of bereavements in my work.
They upset me but they don't normally touch me personally.
This news did.
It felt personal.
It feels personal.

I know this lady.
I knew her husband.
I know their children.
I care about them.

They have asked me to conduct the funeral service which will happen in Perth on Monday afternoon.
I said I would be honoured to serve their family in this time of grief and sadness.
I am not looking forward to it.

I have not been feeling good tonight.
Ironically I had just completed a questionaire for my psych as a follow up to my appointments with her. My "scores" were good, I was not feeling anywhere near the same intensity of depression and despair that I was when I first started seeing her.

This news has sent me into a bit of a spin.

I've been agitated, impatient, short-tempered and driven since I got home.
I cleaned up the entire carport and all the leftover stuff from the garage sale.
I haven't done any painting for a few weeks but tonight I painted a complete picture and worked on two others as well.
I said things I shouldn't and wouldn't ordinarily say.
It occurred to me that there is some connection between my feelings and behaviour and the news I received today.

I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Mrs HP and the kids have been understanding and supportive. The Hair gave me a big hug and told me he loves me.
I don't mean to take out my feelings and negativity on them but I guess they are in the "firing line".
Not that I've been destructive or done any harm to anyone, but I have not been feeling as happy or at peace today as I have for quite a while now.

If you pray I'd value some on my behalf, and for the family in Perth in their grief.


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