I received an unexpected phone call today.
It was bad news.
A lady I know in Perth died suddenly on the weekend.
I was stunned, saddened, overwhelmed.
Her son rang to tell me.
A couple of years ago I performed his wedding ceremony.
A few years before that I conducted his Dad's funeral.
Now his Mum is gone too.
I've dealt with lots of bereavements in my work.
They upset me but they don't normally touch me personally.
This news did.
It felt personal.
It feels personal.
I know this lady.
I knew her husband.
I know their children.
I care about them.
They have asked me to conduct the funeral service which will happen in Perth on Monday afternoon.
I said I would be honoured to serve their family in this time of grief and sadness.
I am not looking forward to it.
I have not been feeling good tonight.
Ironically I had just completed a questionaire for my psych as a follow up to my appointments with her. My "scores" were good, I was not feeling anywhere near the same intensity of depression and despair that I was when I first started seeing her.
This news has sent me into a bit of a spin.
I've been agitated, impatient, short-tempered and driven since I got home.
I cleaned up the entire carport and all the leftover stuff from the garage sale.
I haven't done any painting for a few weeks but tonight I painted a complete picture and worked on two others as well.
I said things I shouldn't and wouldn't ordinarily say.
It occurred to me that there is some connection between my feelings and behaviour and the news I received today.
I hope I feel better tomorrow.
Mrs HP and the kids have been understanding and supportive. The Hair gave me a big hug and told me he loves me.
I don't mean to take out my feelings and negativity on them but I guess they are in the "firing line".
Not that I've been destructive or done any harm to anyone, but I have not been feeling as happy or at peace today as I have for quite a while now.
If you pray I'd value some on my behalf, and for the family in Perth in their grief.