On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival,my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gaveto me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of membersin good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their unioncontract even though they will not be asked to play a note).
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal rulingclass system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products fromenslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbo ls of culturally sanctioned enforced domesticincarceration, (NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Frontthreatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, Frenchhens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoidfurther Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has beenrevised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
THREE deconstructionist poets
TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
So… Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa. Blessed Yule. Rockin’Ramadan. Serene Solstice. Divine Dewali. Happy Holidays!
(unless otherwise prohibited by law)*
*If you are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), please substitute for this gratuitous call for celebration the alternative suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.
Borrowed from Sue in a comments dialogue at Bits & Pieces who may have borrowed it from someone else, or may be a genius.