I'm feeling very low, lower than I have for months.
I applied for a job recently, a job I really wanted, and for which I think I was well-suited and amply qualified.
I got a phone call today telling me I didn't get the job.
I feel disappointed, depressed and mad.
Mad at the employer for not choosing me, mad at God for not letting me have the job, or not moving the employer to make the right choice (me!), mad at myself for getting my hopes up when I should have known better. (There is a history and politics involved that I'm not going to go into but it really shouldn't have surprised me to miss out.)
Yet, I really wanted the job. I really believe I'd have been good at it. I believe the timing and circumstances were right. It is very disheartening to be rejected.
It's hard to be philosophical right now about something this significant. Perhaps I'll feel more acceptance of it in a few days but right now I'm just unhappy.