Thursday, December 02, 2021

60 in 60 #28 Cam

 60 in 60 #28    Cam

 

I am reflecting on the last 60 years, and writing 60 blog posts. 30 about people and 30 about events, places, experiences and entities.

 



When I started as chaplain at Carine in 1993 one of the local District Council members was a lovely lady called Anne Tero. Her husband Terry was a Uniting Church minister at Duncraig. Anne was very supportive of my work and Terry was someone I occasionally talked to about how things were going at the school. Several years later they moved to take up ministry in Bridgetown, which happened to be where Mum lived for many years. When she married Walter I was able to conduct the service under the supervision and authority of Terry. 

Anne and Terry were a beautiful godly couple with servant hearts and gentle spirits. 

 

What I didn’t know until a few years later was that Anne would go home from council meetings and relate a lot of my chaplaincy stories to her son Cameron. I didn’t know him but by virtue of his Mum, he knew “of” me. Therefore it was great to meet him when he became chaplain at Kent St High School and we quickly became friends. We shared a love of sport and being the enterprising and community-building types we were, we arranged a few North v South Chaplain’s events, pitting chaplains from either side of the Swan River in friendly competition. I recall an indoor cricket game and a go-karting session. 

 

In those early days of chaplaincy in WA we all got together regularly for PD days and a retreat once a year. Cam and I attended “religiously” and our friendship grew. I should say that for those who don’t know Cam personally, he has the looks of a choirboy, is the very picture of innocence, with a boyish face and glasses that give him a studious appearance. 

But, dear reader, don’t be fooled by that outward charm! Cam possesses a mischievous nature and a quiet dry wit, a twinkle in his eye and he is not averse to a bit of skulduggery or a subtle cutting comment.

 

The retreats were a constant source of amusement. I think we broke a window at  Wollaston one time kicking footies, or throwing missiles at one another, or maybe we just got told off for the possibility of it! Brian was in charge back then and I don’t think he knew how to take all of us young blokes, with our similar interests, passions and energy. 

There was a memorable night when he came out in his PJs to tell us to quieten down!  

For a few years the retreats were held at Kobeelya in Katanning. They were memorable for many reasons: Sev groaning and threatening to throw up as we played on one of the tilted merry go rounds at the adventure playground in town, holding “The Lesser Silence” as a protest the year Youthcare decided to hold “The Greater Silence” for the first day of the retreat!, watching the Wallabies win the World Cup in a crowded common room late on Saturday night, and sharing the excitement when my nephew Daniel Foster was drafted by Geelong. However, the two things I’ll never forget both involved Cam. The first was sneaking into a few dorms when most people were asleep and drawing on their faces with textas! Discretion overtook valour though when we realised one room we had sneaked into was Ted’s. Ted Witham that is, Brian’s successor and a truly lovely man. 

The other memory centred on the table tennis tournament that had been running all weekend. On the Sunday afternoon it culminated in the final with Cam and I playing Broady and someone else. I am, and have always been, very competitive so I was feeling good when we got to match point with a five point lead. Sadly, I had not counted on Cam’s bizarre and unhelpful decision to then go for a smash on every shot he played! After 2-3 of these misguided missiles went astray I suggested to Cam that he play it a bit safer seeing as we only needed a point to win! My request fell on deaf ears as Cam continued to go for broke with every shot, the result being we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and lost the tournament! Broady delights in retelling the story and witnessing the change in my disposition as Cam threw away a certain victory!


 

Later retreats were held at New Norcia and were the scene of the annual Trivial Pursuit battles between the men and the women. After dinner we would gather in the common room and pitch wits and memories against each other. Cam and I were the foundation members of the blokes’ team while “The Mother of all Chaplains”, Heather Gare led the women’s team. Never could there be a more different approach to TP. 

When the blokes got a tough question there’d be a brief discussion to see if anyone knew the answer, then we’d quickly gauge our best guess and go with that, maybe 1-2 minutes to respond. 

But when the girls got a tough question Heather would start the painful process that went something like this.

Q: What city did Leonardo DaVinci come from?

Heather: I don’t know, do you girls? It could be Rome, he was an Italian, maybe it was Rome, what are some other cities? Venice, maybe it was Venice, I think it could have been Venice, does Venice sound right? Or Turin, where is Turin? Or Milan maybe, that sounds like it might be right, what do you think girls? I’m leaning towards Milan, how about you? Shall we go with Milan? Or can you think of anywhere else, are there any other Italian cities we haven’t thought of? Naples is another one, maybe it was Naples, what do you think? 

We better decide on an answer, shall we go with Naples?

Another voice: Florence is in Italy isn’t it?

Heather again: Oh yes, Florence is a good suggestion, it could be Florence, what do you think? Is it Florence? I think it might be Florence, shall we go with Florence girls?

 

This is not an exaggeration, if anything I have understated it! 

 

And the answer of course was Florence.

This happened time and time again! If they were keeping stats for time in possession, the girls would have had the “ball”/question for at least twice as long as the boys. The games went on for hours and people gradually bowed out until there were just the diehards left, and Cam never deserted his brothers once. I miss those nights.

 

The program wasn’t important, it was always the connections, the talking and sharing, the praying and singing, the mutual understanding and appreciation of what we all did and the different ways in which we did it that made the retreats so worthwhile and memorable. 

 

When Youthcare grew too big to run retreats Cam and I decided to act and we started running retreats for chaplains ourselves, at Busselton, on the Holy Mile. About a dozen people came and we spent a lot of time talking, sharing our experiences, praying for one another and connecting through our common roles. Of course, there was also a lot of laughter and fun, trips to galleries and beaches in the beautiful south-west, and plenty of food and conviviality. Needless to say, there was Trivial Pursuit as well. Sadly we only got to run ours for two years, the second one coming just before I lost my job.

 

Louise and Cameron


With 2 of the girls, at our place


Another joint effort with Cam was editing and producing Capella, the newsletter of WASSCA- West Australian State School Chaplains Association. Along with Andrew Paul we would get together once a term to write and compile stories and articles about chaplaincy as experienced by the 100+ chaplains who were working in schools around WA. Cam is a writer and said on more than one occasion that there should be a book written about school chaplaincy in WA. There is a wealth of stories that could be shared. I hope it happens one day. Writing, printing, binding and distributing Capella was a big job and the three of us worked very effectively to make it happen for several years. I still have all the issues of Capella in a box in the shed.

 

I have always been an initiator and one of my proudest accomplishments was bringing together a group of mates in chaplaincy to form the CFFL- Chaplain’s Fantasy Football League. I had learnt about fantasy footy at Carine, thanks to Scotty Underwood and I knew I had to get my mates involved. Cam joined immediately and nearly 20 years later, the CFFL is still going strong. The events and stories have taken on mythic proportions and when we get together for the annual Winner’s Dinner, the legendary tales are repeated and embellished. I will write more about it in a future chapter of 60 in 60 but I need to mention the founding member coaches of the CFFL because they are amongst my closest and most treasured mates.

Along with Cam there was Darren Birch, Greg Letch, Andrew Broadbent, Warren Haley, Grant Collins and Steve Jansz. The connection I have with these blokes, and a few more who have joined the league since, is unbreakable and priceless. The CFFL is much more than a fantasy footy comp, it’s a brotherhood with deep roots, common history, fabulous memories and a shared love for footy and for one another. In the 19 years of our existence I have only missed the Winner’s Dinner once despite having lived in Victoria for the last 10 years, and the one I didn’t make was thanks to covid. 

One of the Winner's Dinners in Perth at Michael and Rachel's place


 

Not long after we moved to Busselton in 2004, Cam’s parents retired to a beautiful home in Albany. Sadly, Terry died not long after that and didn’t get to enjoy the retirement on earth he had richly deserved. A great number of people travelled to Albany for his funeral and to honour a truly godly man. Cam wrote to me recently recounting some of the stories of his childhood as he watched the genuine and humble way in which his Mum and Dad served the people in their community and reached out with hospitality and love to all. Anne still lives in Albany and we stay in touch, mostly through Cam, although we did get to visit and stay for a lovely weekend in Albany one time when the kids were younger. A couple of years ago Anne came to Melbourne for a conference and Carolyn and I were able to meet her and take her out for dinner in Lygon St. 

Dinner with Anne in Carlton.


I often think of his parents because I see so much of them in Cam. He epitomises everything that is good in a person. When I think of Cam, the word that instantly comes to mind is respect. There are many people that I love and value, whose friendship I treasure, but there are very few people I respect and admire more than Cam. He is a quiet and gentle man, softly spoken but full of wisdom and deep insight. He is a thinker who reflects on life and the world and brings a maturity and wisdom to those reflections. He is a devoted husband to Louise and a loving father to his three daughters and together they make a truly beautiful family. When I want a chat, I call Broady. When I want a laugh, I call Letchy. When I have important decisions to make or events to share I call Paul. But when I want someone wise, someone with empathy, understanding and compassion, I call Cam. We talk about footy and family and work and life as well but I know that if I need wisdom without prejudice, Cam is my go-to man. Yesterday was his birthday (50th I think). I would have gone to the party but the WA borders are still closed so I couldn’t make it. This small offering is my gift to Cam, a mate who has blessed me time and time again. I love you mate, Happy Birthday.

 

Cam is a long-suffering Fremantle Dockers fan (is there any other kind?) and on this day at Kardinia Park he got a selfie with one of the reasons for that suffering! 


A couple of final anecdotes. Cam and I took a weekend footy trip to Melbourne many years ago and stayed with his mate Dave. We went to a garage sale on the Saturday morning and Cam bought an old metal bucket for a couple of dollars. I’ll never forget him taking it on board the plane home as his carry-on luggage.

 

Possibly inspired by my decision to give Paul the middle name Ablett, when Cam and Louise had kids Cam hoped to have a son so that he could name him Bradman. I told him that he could still have given one of the girls Bradman as a middle name. 

 

Finally Cam, I have not mentioned a certain dog that shall not be named or the vandalism inflicted on one of my chairs at the only CFFL draft ever held in Busselton. 

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